Hello there, welcome to my blog. I am a freelance writer, a realist, a researcher, and an experienced 'lover girl'.
Experience, they say is the best teacher. Over the years, I have had the opportunity to listen to my friends and acquaintances speak about their relationships and their respective intimacy issues
I have read religious books, holy books, novels, magazines, and blogs. One prevalent dilemma would be love and intimacy issues. In some parts of the world, it is even more difficult, because, you can not speak about sex and intimacy freely.
Thankful for 'wokeness', social media, and the numerous waves of feminism, people are starting to be more expressive about their sexual wellness.
So, we are exploring tips on how to make your man fall in love with you, especially in the bedroom- the engine room. Kindly note that this advice is for men and women alike. As whatever, is good for the goose, is also good for the gander.
The tips that we shall be considering, are useful for both men and women alike. So, here are the six things you need to know about your partner's secret desires and passive wishes in the bedroom.
Tip: Foreplay and love-making begin in the morning, not twenty minutes before bedtime, or after one to two glasses of wine. Be kind, be cheery, pay your partner compliments, make them a cup of tea, and buy them flowers.
Number One: Hygiene
The importance of hygiene cannot be over-emphasized when discussing steps on how to make things steamy in the 'other room'
Are you losing steam or heat? or do you feel like you cannot satisfy your significant other anymore?
Let's do some little housekeeping. How important is hygiene for you? What about your partner? How important is hygiene for them?
Ladies, have you stopped making an effort? What happened to hygiene, and self-care?
At the end of the day, you are all that you have got. Take care of yourself.
How was sex for you when you first met? or when you first made love?
I am going to guess that since it was the first few weeks or days, or even hours after you both met each other, you came prepared.
You probably waxed your bikini line, your coochie, and maybe, your legs.
If you did not do any of these, I believe that you at least had a good wash, applied some deodorants, and probably, some nice scents.
Hold on, I am not judging, I am just giving some background to what I am about to say. These days, it may be that you both live together, spend more time together, and get comfortable around each other.
You may agree with me that after some time, we stop trying. It could be that life got in the way. It could be stress from work, family commitments, or even financial problems.
While all these contributory factors could slow things down in the bedroom, one major culprit is lack of hygiene.
So, enough of the blame game. Both men and women possess the capacity to wash themselves and maintain their general well-being.
Being busy, stressed, or under pressure, are not valid reasons to not keep our private areas clean at all times.
Practice simple hygiene like washing your privates with clean, warm water before and after sex. Practice good grooming, like trimming hairs in private areas. The hairs around these areas are tough. It is a hazard for both you and your romantic partner or partners.
Just imagine your man with cuts and abrasions from the coarse nature of your coochie.
Or, for the guys, imagine your girls, having your 'iron sponge-like pubic hairs in between their teeth after giving you a blow job and attempting to get a bit more adventurous by going down below.
You do not want this embarrassment. A lot of times, your partner, might not show any sign of 'currently chewing your damn hair!
They might not say this, and you might not even pick up their hint, because you probably were moaning away, enjoying the head you were receiving. Or, you were probably too busy faking an orgasm.
So, kindly make adjustments. Remember that our hair follicles and oil glands, sweat pores, ears, vaginal opening, and penis openings, would always keep secreting waste or other bodily fluids like sweat, urine, oils, and others.
The best you can do is to keep on top of things. Keep your hygiene top-notch. Try to make an effort. Do not just lie there with smelly feet or armpits.
Number Two: Foreplay
How is your foreplay game? is it weak or strong? When did it become weak, or when did you realize that you do not even have a foreplay game? Growing up was different for me. Whenever I hear women and men speak about their sexuality and experience, I marvel at their boldness.
So, on boldness, I did not have anything to say or advise on this up until three years ago. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am happy to let you know that three years on, I am still 'enjoying' foreplay. This is because, in my past relationships, I never really understood what 'foreplay ' was all about.
After about one or two terrible experiences, I thought that foreplay just involved two consenting adults rubbing each other's saliva, all over each other's lips and face. I did not see the need.
Listening to a few of my female friends or former colleagues speaking, I have an idea that their men just kissed them, squeezed, and turned their nipples around like a knob.
So, what is foreplay to you?
According to Wikipedia, foreplay is a set of emotionally and physically intimate acts between one, or more people to create sexual arousal and desire for sexual activity.
In addition, foreplay can be described as an act or series of acts between one, two, or more people to get aroused, heighten their desire for their significant other, and help them reach a climax.
So, if you are new to the world of foreplay, just like myself, I believe that the following can help:
Practice good hygiene
Put on clothes or lingerie that implies 'catch me if you can' Put on something nice. let your man see something nice.
Dim the lights, if you are a shy person.
Keep pubic hairs short and clean, you never know when 'foreplay' might just come unexpectedly. You do not want to put foreplay off because you don't feel confident about how you look or smell down there. So, you always want to be caught fresh.
Watch videos together, explore, and discover, the more you watch and read instructional resources together, the easier you get over shyness or any feeling of awkwardness.
Remember to have clean bedding on. You do not want any distraction between you and your 'foreplay'. Cleanliness is key. Neatness can even be a turn-on for some folks.
Take your foreplay, one step at a time. You both can practice little tasks like rubbing each other's feet, rubbing your partner's back, running them a bath, and letting up scented candles.
By incorporating these little steps into your routine, you would seamlessly transition into roles like French- kissing and licking off each other's areola area. Make sure that your partner is happy to have this done to them.
On your part, ensure that there are no coarse hairs around your nipples and areola. Before licking the areola becomes full-on nipple sucking, the issue of 'coarse hair' hanging about the areola areas can be a huge turn-off for some folk. While some other folks would use the same 'coarse hair' as dental floss.
So you can see that 'one man's food is another man's poison. The take-home here is, to be sure of your intimate partner's preferences before getting too ambitious.
Still don't know where to start foreplay from? Try sex toys. What did you hear about sex toys? or what do you know about them? As for me, I have heard a lot about them, and I know a lot about them.
As a researcher and good listener, I have come to a personal conclusion that introducing sex toys into your intimacy lineup could be a way of adding more zing, a way of tapping and unlocking new levels of pleasure. Did you ever have sex so good that you thought that
Wow! This is the best sex , I ever had.
Now, imagine unlocking those beautiful strains of intensity and sensuality. Reading about sex toys over the years, one could find so many articles on the downsides of using sex toys and similar appliances.
Do not forget, that we are exploring how to keep things steamy in the bedroom. Or, how to reignite old flames or almost dying flames.
If you are starting to get tired of the normal routines of 'missionary' and the other members of the 'vanilla' family, you should consider speaking to your partner about investing in some toys for your routine.Research together, to see what you both like, and what you do not. Be open about your fantasies and desires. If you do not live out your fantasy with your significant other, then who? Do you think that your partner may think that you are weird? Or they might say No to you.
That is the worst that can happen. 'NO'
So, if you are under the impression that your partner may be inclined to use sex toys, you can invest in a simple and safe model. Who knows, you two might set the ball rolling and start ordering a 'milking machine' or a 'pump'
so, you could add the sex toys to a set of presents on anniversary or date nights. But if you are besties and 'mates' with your intimate partner, you might just be ordering your first toy together online, from your sofa.
Tip: Please and please, very important(*smiles) invest in a douche! both men and women. If you are going to be adventurous, then you have to be ready for it.
Clean your preferred body parts appropriately.
Make sure, you are squeaky clean, just as you expect the intimate partner that you are about to give a blow job to be.
Make every effort to shower, invest in some exfoliators, 'bum smoothening cream', 'Sudocrem' just anything you need to keep you neat, and organized.
Tip: Make sure that your toys are fully charged for the action. And if you need battries, make sure to keep extras close by. Have simple scented wipes handy to wipe as needed. This help prevents some akwardness that could come from using your toys.
Music, and Ambience
For me, this works like magic. Music has a remarkable ability to influence our emotions and create the perfect atmosphere. The right song can uplift our spirits, calm our minds, or even transport us to a different time and place. Whether it's the soothing melody of a classical piece or the upbeat rhythm of a pop song, music has the power to enhance our moods and set the tone for any occasion. So next time you need a pick-me-up or want to create a relaxing ambiance, just press play and let the magic of music work its wonders.
If you are confused as to how to set the tone in the bedroom, Try some music. Try some rhythm and blues. Soft jazz could also do the magic.
Communicate with your partner. Ask them if they would like some music. Experiment until you both find a balance.
Research has shown that music has the potential to improve moods and emotions. Sometimes, music heightens our emotions, sometimes, it opens our hearts to powerful emotions that we never thought we were capable of.
Music has a way of getting through. So, when in doubt, try some music. We shall now jump into the next item, 'Communication' Everything we have discussed so far would be impossible without effective communication. Love romance sex relationship tips.
Communication: Without communication, hygiene, music, and ambiance would only happen in your imagination. Remember to communicate your feelings to your partner. They are not mind readers, so instead of keeping mute and going crazy in silence, communicate.
Role Play: Love, romance, sex, and relationship tips
Note: Kindly note that we are still uploading and editing this post. Last edited on the 12th of June 2024.
On Communication
The importance of communication in relationships cannot be overstated. Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, whether it's between family members, friends, or romantic partners. It allows individuals to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and honestly, fostering a deeper understanding and connection.
Good communication helps to resolve conflicts and misunderstandings before they escalate into bigger issues. It promotes empathy, as listening actively to each other's perspectives can bridge gaps and build trust. When people feel heard and understood, they are likelier to be open, supportive, and cooperative.
Moreover, communication is not just about talking; it also involves non-verbal cues like body language, facial expressions, and eye contact. These subtle signals can convey emotions and intentions that words alone might not fully capture.
In essence, nurturing open and respectful communication can strengthen individual bonds, making relationships more resilient and fulfilling. By prioritizing communication, we lay the foundation for mutual respect, love, and lasting harmony.
So. in this context, all the points discussed earlier would be impossible without communication.
CAVEAT: Kindly note that this is a personal blog that features other authors at intervals. The information you have read so far is in no way a replacement or, alternative to professional advice.